God please let it be him!” was my prayer from the day that I met him. Then it changed to, “God if I’m not supposed to love him; don’t let me put more of my heart into this…but please let it be him!” It’s literally the first time in my life that I met someone that had all these amazing qualities…beyond my expectations really. I was around him a lot and I’d just think ‘my gosh he’s so easy to love.’ I’m weird in that literally the first thing I notice about a person is their eyes and…he had these amazing blue eyes and then my gosh his smile and…his laugh! He loves kids…like they just gravitate towards him! He sings and sometimes I try to remember exactly how he sings a certain song and just that memory puts a smile on my face. Most importantly…he loves God and that was so beautiful to see in a guy that I was falling for! I think as I prayed about it more, God kind of eased my heart and I realized, ‘it’s OK to care about him…it’s OK to love him…even if he isn’t the one’…and so my prayer has changed again when it comes to him and at our planned reunion in 5 years (who knows we might even meet up before then)…maybe he’ll still be this amazing man of God…and maybe he’ll be an amazing husband and father…that’s my prayer for him…that he’ll continue to grow in his faith and that he’ll continue to trust God’s direction is his life, because I know to my heart that God has some beautiful plans in store for him…and I’ll pray that he’ll continue to be courageous…because he is.
I think about it now all the time because I need an exact reason to why I liked him so much…I mean more than his eyes, laugh, how easy going he is…I’m like “God there has to be a reason why I met him?” I realize now that maybe God did use him and is using him to show me that there are good men out there; and He’s teaching me patience and asking me to trust Him with this part of my life and I’m like… “OK God, my heart is yours.”